Marriage and the Gospel

"While remaining the foundational divine institution for humanity, which should be nurtured, cared for, and protected, marriage should not be viewed as an end in itself, but should be subordinated to God's larger salvation purposes." Andreas J. Kostenberger

As I read the book God, Marriage, and Family I was struck by this statement.  It brings out three very important things for us to remember in relationship to marriage.  The first of which is an easy thing, the last two much harder.

Marriage is a good thing!

God instituted marriage back as far as the Garden when He said that it was not “good for man to be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him” Genesis 2:18.  Marriage is a relationship with divine origins.  We all know that it is good and should be nurtured, cared for and protected.  We should make time for our spouses, care for our spouses, and protect our relationship with our spouses for God has brought them to us and has made them “fit for us.”  God has given you your spouse, flaws and all  for a reason.

Marriage is not an end in itself!

This is a little harder for us to grasp.  Unlike what most of culture tells us, marriage is not an end in itself.  We do not marry for the sake of marrying.  There is a divine purpose and reason that God gave us the institution of marriage.

Too often marriage is entered into for it’s benefits, even by Christian people.  It is entered into for the physical relationship.  It is entered into for the support, for the fulfilling of the dream of kids.  For every reason, not all of them bad, under the sun that makes marriage the end in itself.

The real issue here becomes when those benefits no longer seem real to us, then the marriage becomes a burden.  Leading to a host of sin and problems.  So what is the real purpose to marriage?

Marriage is to further God salvation purposes!

The divine reason that God gave us marriage is for His salvation purposes.  This occurs in at least three ways:

1. It occurs in the relationship itself: when we enter into a relationship like marriage we are immediately confronted with our sin.  We at least see our selfishness and our complete inability to naturally place another’s desires above our own.  We also find a helper in the battle against sin.  Not only does the relationship reveal our sin, but it also gives us a person to help us in the battle.  Someone to walk side by side with through this battle that is the Christian life.  When marriage is an end in itself, this becomes “nagging” and “…not letting me live my own life.”

2. It occurs in our kids: those who have kids have the tremendous opportunity to share the gospel with them.  The command to be fruitful and multiply relates to our desire to not only have kids, but to see our kids experience new birth and spread the gospel themselves.  However, when marriage and kids are an end in themselves, the marriage and parenting become more about fulfilling a dream, getting a good career and teaching our kids to be polite; rather than about expanding the kingdom of God (not that the former are bad things to strive towards). 

3. It occurs in a dual effort to share the gospel: every couple has different strengths.  In a marriage relationship, there is a great partnership is sharing the gospel.  Partnering together to have people over for meals, coffee, and just to hang out.  It opens a whole new world of opportunities that we can use to access people who do not know and trust Christ atonement on their behalf.  Marriage gives us a partnership for seeking out these people and sharing the truth of God’s love with them.  When marriage is an end in itself, these avenues are too inconvenient and not desirable. 

This is a great quote and thought that deserves out thoughts and attention.  Whether you are single or married, think through this idea and pray that God would guide and direct you as you seek His face.  Look to God’s Word and behold the face of the Sovereign One!